Você é ignorante demais pra compreender que machucou alguém

Ignorante demais pra admitir que errou

Ignorante demais pra aceitar que outros além de você recebam atenção

Ignorante demais pra ter consideração por alguém

Ignorante demais pra fazer algo além do mínimo pra alguém

Ignorante demais pra aceitar que o mundo não gira ao seu redor e as pessoas não estão aqui pra te servir

Ignorante demais pra pensar em algo que não seja somente em si mesma

Ignorante demais pra aceitar que me faz mal

Eu não aguento mais, e conviver com sua ignorância me faz querer morrer.

You know, move out and live alone is not really worth it

I’ll have tons of bills to pay

be sad all the time

extremely lonely all the time - cause let’s be honest, I don’t have a damn person to talk too.

I’m so tired of everything here

Nobody respects me, or my job, or the things I like

Nobody supports me, not on things that I want, the only support I’ve ever had was to do things they want

To be really honest, I don’t think nobody here even likes me

They just kept me here cause it’s like an obligation

You birth it - cause abortion isn’t permitted to Cristian people - so you have to keep it and raise it

But at what cost?

If you keep something you don’t appreciate, you will only be mean to it

Which is how thy treat me.

The only way out of this is dyeing

It’s not like anyone would noticed, or grieve it.

I just wanna die but I don’t wanna do it myself, I need an exterior help

And then everything will be ok

I don’t like the way things are going

I don’t like my job anymore

I used to love it, I’m in the enterprise I always dreamed about

I supposed to be here for learning

But I’m not learning a thing

Just doing stupid and useless things

But still it’s the place I’ve always dream to be

So why am I not feeling good about it?

What should I do?

I don’t know what to do or where to run

I don’t wanna live, I’m attached to this place, to the dream about being here

But I can’t see myself growing the way the things are now

I’m so sad and desperate

I don’t know what to do

Why do I always fall in love so easily?

And why can’t anybody fall for me?

Am I not lovable?

Am I not worth of having something real?

Why do I always frustrate myself about it?

What’s wrong with me?

Should I keep trying even though I know I’ll be frustrated again?

Should I give up on this?

Give up on everything?

Why does this keeps happening to me?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Evrytime I think about it, my anxiety takes the control of my body

I don’t feel like I’m good enough to continue

But I can’t handle the ideia of leaving it

It’s the best I’ve ever been

But I don’t see myself being useful there

All this desperate when I think about it makes me wanna disappear

Makes me wanna stop thinking, stop existing

It’s like I’ll never get to be better than I am now

And the good that I am now is unreal

I don’t deserve that

Im not good enough to this good place

I’m not worth to this good thing

I need to let it go even though I know I’ll never get to be this good again

Please just stop thinking about it

Please just leave me alone

Please just let me go

I don’t have a place to drown

Or a high place to fall

Or a car to crash

Neither a rope to hang

The fire is torture

My body is very tolerant to drugs

And I’m too insignificant for somebody notice me and end me

Why can’t my heart just stop?

Easy, quick, painless and clean

I’m here behind to be saved, but by who? What? How?

I know I’m not gonna be hired at the job I’m doing, for the first time in my life I’m working with something I’m not good, at a job I supposed to be learning, but I’m not learning anything. And by this fact, that I’m not learning anything, which means I’m not being good at my job, I know I’m not gonna be hired. This is the best place I’ve ever worked my whole life, is a worthy place, it’s really worth it, but I’m not being good enough for what they expect me to.

I’ve trying to find love anywhere, any crumb anyone might give me, I’m thirsty for it, I’m desperate for it. But why I’m so desperate? Because I was never really loved. Nobody never actually loved me, but they did enjoy the way I loved them, I’m loyal and committed, the kind of person who would do anything for someone I love, but no one that’s ever been in my life, ever felt any of it for me. I’ve always an accessory for they’re ego. And that’s why I’m so desperate to feel loved, for any crumb I get. But I’m so tired and kinda accepted that being loved by someone is something that’s not gonna happen for me. So I give up on expecting any kind of kindness from anyone.

I don’t have friends, maybe the topic above fits here too. I’ve always been an accessory for my “friends”. Something useful, until a certain point unless, when I’m not anymore I’m just discarded like trash. I don’t have a person to talk to, about anything, and those that I’ve always thought I could count on for that, just don’t. Cause listening when I’m the one who needs to talk, is not a part os the useful thing.

Maybe I’m not lovable, that’s why nobody ever cares, nobody stays.

Maybe I’m just a no in the system, an ignored algorithm, a mistake, some bug, something that wasn’t supposed to be there. Maybe that’s the why nobody ever stays. Because nobody cares. How could someone care about something that wasn’t supposed to be there, something that wasn’t supposed to be happening.

Do you know in Dark when Jonas and Marta found out that they wasn’t supposed to happen and they have to fix the timeline so there’s no possibility of they exist? Maybe I’m something like that, a curve in time of something that shouldn’t have happened, and that’s why all the odds are against me.

Maybe I’m just trying to find a reason for all of it.

Maybe I’m just trying to explain myself too hard on something that matters to anyone else but me.

I’m so tired, my clock is ticking, and my time is almost out.

It doesn’t matter what I say

It doesn’t matter what I try to do

It doesn’t matter what I try to think

I’m already dead inside

I’m empty

I’m sad

I’m hopeless

I’ve been like these there’s so long that I got used to it

But even when you get used to something you get tired

I might think that I’m given up now

But I’ve been dead for a long time

An empty casque with no soul

Everyday I’m here waiting to be saved

Like a fucking damsel in distress

But no one even sees me as a lady

I’m nothing but a peace of meat everybody just wants to use and discard

My feelings and needs are unworthy

No one cares

I’m unworthy

I believe not even I care anymore

I believe I found a better way to solve the problem with the things that’s been bothering me without causing a mess for you

Because according to you, all I do is cause a mess to you

My opinions causes a mess

My taste for every thing causes a mess

My wishes causes a mess

My hair causes a mess

My clothes causes a mess

My pain causes a mess

The songs a hear causes a mess

My existence causes a mess for you, cause that’s all I do, I mess people’s life

So don’t worry none of these mess gonna bother you anymore

They’re not gonna exist anymore.